Josh Is Irrelevant: Crazy Ex Girlfriend S3E6 Review

In my previous blog post, I wrote about how I think Rebecca has Borderline Personality Disorder and I was indeed correct! *pats self on the back* AND my article did the same thing the show did - list out the signs of BPD and give examples to how Rebecca met those signs. CXG writers and I - we think similarly!

Source: The CW & itsbriankinney

Josh is officially irrelevant. If you look at the future titles for this season, the pattern of always having Josh's name is now over. Next episode is called, "Getting Over Jeff" which will be a Paula centered episode (and is also the mid season finale and also airs in 3 weeks on Dec 8 boo).

It's always darkest before the dawn. Last episode, I was in tears at Rebecca's suicide attempt and now everything seems so rosy! The song, "A Diagnosis," was cheery and fun and hopeful. And now, I see such a hopeful future for Rebecca. I know there are a lot more episodes of Crazy Ex Girlfriend to come so I know it can't be smooth sailing from here on out but I'm glad Rebecca knows her diagnosis and is taking steps to heal.

I'm glad they made a point to say, "Suicide isn't caused by one person or event; it's because of mental illness." Take that, 13 Reasons Why.


Nathaniel's story really shed a light on his character. He almost had a panic attack whenever he thought about his mom's suicide attempt so we can see he is also affected by mental issues. I also now know WHY Nathaniel likes Rebecca. As they repeat many times during this show and also said during "Maybe She's Not A Heinous Bitch," - "When we're finding a mate, it's our parents we're thinking of." Rebecca reminds Nathaniel of his mom!!

This episode is the first time I have hope that Rebecca and Nathaniel are end game. Nathaniel was so sweet after her suicide attempt. That last scene with him leaving roses at her door was so adorable!! He was finally able to write a heartfelt note to her (after trying so many times to find the right words).  I think maybe Rebecca will learn how to love healthily through her BPD treatment and Nathaniel will also deal with his own issues and in the end, maybe they will end up together!

In conclusion, my main takeaway from this episode was HOPE. I am so excited for a beautiful future for everyone the show.

Previous Episode	All Crazy Ex Girlfriend Posts	Next Episode
I Never Want to See Josh Again: Crazy Ex Girlfriend S3E5 Review	All Crazy Ex Girlfriend Posts	Getting Over Jeff: Crazy Ex Girlfriend Mid-Season Finale S3E7 Review

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How Taylor Swift's "If You're Anything Like Me" reputation Poem Helped Me Heal

To be honest, I am going through a Taylor Swift phase because her new album reputation has just been released. On the internet, I came across one of the LOVELY poems Taylor wrote for her Target Magazines and I fell in love with it. I fell so much in love with it that I actually bought the magazine. I wanted to talk about my favorite part of the poem "If You're Anything Like Me"

And no amount of friends at 25
Will fill the empty seats
At the lunch tables of your past
The teams that picked you last...
But Darling, you keep trying.

If you're anything like me,
You couldn't recognize the face of love
Until they stripped you of your shiny paint
Threw your victory flag away
And you saw the ones who wanted you anyway...
Darling, later on you will thank your stars
for that frightful day.

If you're anything like me,
I'm sorry.

But Darling, it's going to be okay.

I haven't talked about it on my blog yet - but I will soon - that I, too, have been betrayed and hurt by my friends. That is why I can relate to much of Taylor Swift's new material. I can relate to "here's to my real friends," and "here's to my mama," and, "I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put 'em," but most of all, I can relate to this poem.

Taylor titled the poem, "If You're Anything Like Me." And I want to say- I am very much like her. And not because I "bite my nails" or "laugh when I'm nervous" as written in the first stanza (you can see the full poem here.) I'm sure everyone does those things. I am like Taylor because I am sensitive,  I am insecure, and I also put my trust in people who ended up using it to hurt me.

"empty seats at lunch tables" can bring up a friendship betrayal I experienced 10 years ago. And 10 years later, I am still in a similar situation. Last year, I could recognize that I was hanging out with the "cool" people at work. I remember thinking to myself - huh, do I really belong here? But I didn't push the question further. I said yes to outings that weren't fun for me and made me feel like an outsider. Those people didn't care about me. And when my friends stabbed me so violently in the back - I could finally see it. I could finally break free and make a vow to hang out with only those people who made an effort to care about me.

Maybe when I was hanging out with the <quote>cool people.<unqote>, I had the victory flag in my hands and was doused in the shiny paint. I was like "look, I am not lame like I was in high school! I am normal and I have friends *cue Crazy Ex Girlfriend's song I Have Friends*" But then my friends stabbed me in the back and took that victory flag away. And I was left with my friend count cut in half. But in that moment, I realized this was the real me. I will never be that popular, cool girl. That's when I realized which friends really loved me (saw the face of love). And one year later, maybe I am happy for that frightful day. I wish I had realized these friends were no good for me sooner and without such back-stabbings, but alas. I think I will recognize it better in the future.

Taylor telling me that she is sorry for the pain I am experiencing comforts me. Even though she doesn't know my struggles, it's nice to think she understands and is also going through something similar. I also like how she tells me that it's going to be okay. There is hope. She and I are both resilient. We will find our place in the world.

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Why I Think Crazy Ex Girlfriend's Rebecca Bunch Has Borderline Personality Disorder

As mentioned in the following tweet, it looks like Rebecca Bunch's mental illness will be diagnosed next episode!

That is the next episode

— Rachel Bloom (@Racheldoesstuff) November 11, 2017

It's four days before the episode so I wanted to jot down my thoughts on Rebecca's mental illness. Before I start, I want to say that mental illnesses are linked with each other so many times people can have multiple diagnoses linked to them. I think it's very obvious that Rebecca has Depression and Anxiety. The "not so talked about" mental illness I think she has is Borderline Personality Disorder.

Depression: Rebecca was so drawn to the "Are You Happy?" Butter ad because she was deeply unhappy. When her "quack" psychiatrist in NY gave her such emotion-numbing pills, it made her feel nothing. Depression can make people feel empty, and these pills probably increased her emptiness. Right before Rebecca's suicide attempt, she was severely depressed. She didn't wash her hair/bathe, and didn't care about what was happening in the outside world. A symptom of depression is loosing interest in things that you used to care about. She also slept A LOT which is another symptom of Depression. She felt hopeless because she felt she had severely burned all her bridges and she didn't have anything to look forward to. On the plane, she mentioned that she felt too tired to do ANYTHING; fatigue is also another symptom.

Anxiety: Her anxiety can be seen in the song "We Tapped That Ass," where the ghosts of her too ex-boyfriends haunt her. Anxiety can also be seen manifested in Young Rebecca after she reveals all her secrets to Josh at the church. You can see her walking into her job talking to herself, distracted, and visible anxious.

Borderline Personality Disorder: This is a very interesting disorder. Google defines the disorder as "A mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships." I am not great at explaining the mental illnesses so I will just list some symptoms and explain how they relate to our dear Rebecca. These symptoms come from HelpGuide.com

Fear of Abandonment: Rebecca has a fear of abandonment due to her father and Robert leaving her. It is also based on her mother who wasn't a stable, loving figure. People with BPD desperately do whatever they can to stop the abandonment. For example, Rebecca tried so hard to make her father love her all through her life, She also impulsively believed she was pregnant to convince Josh to stay when she felt him drifting away from her.

Unstable Relationships: HelpGuide.com states, "People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed." Need I say more? This is exactly the premise of the show.

Unclear or unstable self-image: Rebecca does have an unstable self-image and you see that in her songs. One second she is singing about how she is the "Villain in her own story" or a "Stupid Bitch." The next she is singing about how two men are in love with her in "Love Triangle." The reason why she moved all the way to West Covina is because she wanted to change her image as a ruthless, unhappy lawyer to a happy, beach gal.

Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors: HelpGuide.com states, "If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset." Case in point: Rebecca sleeping with Greg's dad impulsively because she was upset Josh never wanted to see her again. Honestly, I think Rebecca's impulsiveness is one of the most glaring symptom of whatever mental illness she does have. Rebecca impulsively spends money whether its putting 10,000 in a car to win a case or spending 10,000 to move up her wedding. She impulsively kisses (Nathaniel) or sleeps with people (Greg's Dad) even when she knows she should not. She impulsively yells at Josh in front of a church and reveals all her secrets which damages her in the end.

Self-harm: suicide attempt.

Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality: Being out of touch with reality can be seen in how Rebecca does go into a fantasy world and imagines all these musical numbers. In addition, we saw real paranoia and suspicion when her friends did that intervention in S2E5. She accused Nathaniel of scheming with her friends behind her back which is a really huge jump (and also not true!) She also impulsively and quickly assumed that her friends wanted nothing to do with her after learning about her Robert's history. She assumed that her friends and mom were scheming to put her into a mental institution. She assumed that the no longer loved or cared about her.

In conclusion, these are my feelings towards Rebecca's diagnosis. I'm sure whatever Rachel and Aline have researched for Rebecca will be the true diagnosis, but I just want to let you know my thoughts!

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Taylor Swift: "I Swear I Don't Love The Drama, It Loves Me" Reaction

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** "I Swear I Don't Love The Drama, It Loves Me Reaction" is a lyric from her new song End Game on her new album reputation.
*** I swear I love Taylor!

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I Never Want to See Josh Again: Crazy Ex Girlfriend S3E5 Review

That was painful. That was horrendously painful. When Rebecca's mom stole her laptop and showed us, the viewers, Rebecca looking up ways to kill herself, my stomach just dropped. I was in shock. I was filled with anxiety and sadness. Even though that clue was glaring, I still had no idea that Rebecca would attempt suicide. On the plane, even when she was holding the bottle of anxiety pills and looking at it suspiciously, I STILL had no idea she would actually do it. I guess I was just hopeful. This is a fun, musical, quirky show. And yes, it does have serious moments that address mental illness, but I didn't think they would go THAT far.

I'm just so sad. I feel so badly for Rebecca. But we know she survives as evidenced by the promo so at least the is a relief (I guess there is no way she could have died as she is the main character of the show).

The "Help" sign turning into the "Hope" sign was interesting. Because don't they mean the same thing? A person at rock bottom asking for help is a hopeful thing to do. I guess she was only prompted to ask for Help when she realized there was hope for her life to get better.

Photo Credit: The CW & https://bunchofbloom.tumblr.com/

Why didn't Rebecca even try to talk to her friends? They would have showed her that they still cared. Why didn't Rebecca ask for forgiveness instead of thinking that she ruined her life forever? I mean ask for forgiveness and if they don't forgive you, then you can worry.

Since this episode was rock bottom for her, at least the rest of the season will be moving in a good direction. She will get help for her mental illness and that's great!! The creators on twitter even mentioned that she will be diagnosed next episode.

That is the next episode

— Rachel Bloom (@Racheldoesstuff) November 11, 2017

When it comes to my predictions, I was wrong and right. Rebecca's mom was acting nice to commit her into a mental institution against Rebecca's consent. I was wrong because the real reason why this episode was so emotional was because of the suicide attempt.

When I saw Rachel Bloom's tweet about how emotional this episode will be and for us to prepare, my reaction was BRING IT ON I WANT TO FEEL EMOTIONAL. The suicide attempt, however, was not what I wanted. It wasn't emotional in a good way - the way Rebecca recognizing her feelings and working through them is. I do believe next episode will be emotional in a good way so I'm excited for next week.

Heinous Bitch: Not one of my favorite songs. I probably won't be listening to it again. Why? Because I love my mom and I think she is great! (I suppose I am lucky). I guess I can't relate to it.

About Rebecca's mom, I thought she was sweet. Yeah, drugging someone without their consent IS bad. It feels like you aren't control of your body. AND it's a breech of trust. However, Rebecca's mom did do it with love. She wanted Rebecca to NOT attempt suicide. When Rebecca found out about the pills in the strawberry milkshake, she FREAKED out. She assumed that the only reason she was feeling better and thinking her mom was nice was because of the pills. However, Rebecca's mom was ALSO being nice to her without the pills. They were doing crossword puzzles, playing games, wearing matching outfits. Rebecca's mom did make an effort to be nice. If only she would do that all the time and not just when she thought Rebecca was gonna kill herself.

I Feel Like This Isn't About Me: Corneilia was the foil for Rebecca and also the comedic relief in this episode. I liked her. I liked all the associates of White Feather projecting all their feelings onto her. Maya is totes me as a woke millennial.

It was sweet that we found out exactly why Nathaniel likes Rebecca. He likes her because she challenges his worldview. He likes her because she's not afraid to be different and to put her work second and her happiness first.

I also liked the subplot of Paula and her depression. She does have a loving family!! Her sons were ok with playing a girly board game with her! That's true love! And in the end, it seemed like they both enjoyed the game and were into it. Her husband was also sweet by being there for her when she needed it the most.

Next episode will be emotional. EVERY character in West Covina will have to deal with their emotions surrounding Rebecca. And Rebecca will have to deal with her emotions surrounding her suicide attempt. I can't wait for it!. According to the following tweet, there will even be an emotional song that has NO COMEDIC ELEMENTS. That's a first.

There is a song coming up next week that Rachel (with Adam and Jack) wrote that I think is amazing and made me cry (in a good way) every time.

— Aline Brosh McKenna (@alinebmckenna) November 11, 2017

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Josh's Ex-Girlfriend Is Crazy: Crazy Ex Girlfriend S3E4 Review	All Crazy Ex Girlfriend Posts	Josh Is Irrelevant: Crazy Ex Girlfriend S3E6 Review

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