Friday, September 7, 2018

Why I Am Not A Hufflepuff Anymore

I was looking at my old website on wayback machine. By "old," I mean the website I created when I WAS IN THE FIFTH GRADE. Wild. I had more of a passion for coding then than I do now. Here's a small snapshot.


Yes, in the fifth grade, I was a proud and out Hufflepuff. And I continued to be a Hufflepuff for many years after that. Let me do the math: I was 10 in the fifth grade, and I was 24 when I stopped being a Hufflepuff. So that is FOURTEEN years of identifying as something I am now rejecting. I even wrote an article called, "Why I Am A Hufflepuff" on my old website in 7th grade, but I can't find it on Way Back Machine. So as an ode to that lost article, here is "Why I am Not A Hufflepuff Anymore."


First, let me talk about why I identified so strongly with Hufflepuff. One of the main values of this house is fairness. As I've mentioned before, I have always been a feminist. My mom likes to joke around and say that it is just in our genes to always call out the sexist things around us. I try my hardest to make things fair for everyone around me - especially when I am acting as a leader or part of a team.

Helga Hufflepuff once said, "I’ll teach the lot, and treat them just the same." I have always felt this way. I have never wanted to exclude anyone, because as a child, I was excluded by my peers plenty of times for being to shy or weird. I liked that Helga Hufflepuff loved and accepted everyone. I don't believe in excluding others. As a child, when I saw bulling I never wanted to be a part of it. I remember a bunch of girls in 6th grade who were bullying this one girl and saying they didn't want to hang out with her.. I asked, "Why?" and they said "because we just don't like her," and that is when I was like "pass." I can't get behind excluding someone...especially without a reason. And even if there is a valid reason, I believe in making that judgement for myself. 

Another reason I was drawn to Hufflepuff is that I like to support the underdog. I like to think kindess can win the day.

But as I talked about in my blog post, Why Don't I Connect With Nice, Warm People Who Want To Spend Time With Me?, I was recently betrayed by my friends. And in that betrayal, it wasn't loyalty or fairness that saved me - it was bravery. My friends were not loyal to me; they didn't have my back like true friends should. They actually put me in harms way. I might have had loyalty towards them. I would never have done what they did to me because I believe in doing the right thing.

I guess I don't believe loyalty is the best trait anymore. It's too external, it's too needy to expect it from other people. And when you give loyalty - it comes with great risks. Instead, I want to embrace being brave. You know, where I am going with this ~

I am now a self-identified Gryffindor! 

Except...that I'm not. I just took a quiz on Time.com that told me I am still a Hufflepuff. It's true, I'm a softie at heart. I can't help it. But listen, I really value Gryffindor values. In life, you have to be brave. You have to be brave to go through trials and tribulations and face them dead on. If you aren't brave, you could die from all the hardships life throws at you. As a person with mild social anxiety, I had to force myself to do things that were scary since Kindergarten. I am not naturally a brave person, but I want to cultivate that value.

And when my "friends," hurt me the way that they did, I was brave. I pulled myself up. I found safety for myself. I found power and independence. I was brave enough to try to love again with new friends. Every day I have to summon bravery to let people in and that's why I am now a proud Gryffindor.

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