Sunday, November 19, 2017

Crazy Ex Girlfriend Rant: New York City Is Closer To The Beach Than West Covina

In season one of Crazy Ex Girlfriend, we hear Rebecca say constantly that she moved to West Covina because she is a "beach gal" and she wanted to be near the beach. I also remember Greg Serrano saying, "We're 4 hours from the beach, I know people say it's 2 but those people are dumb." I live near NYC (Jersey Girl), and during the summer months people go to the Jersey Shore almost every weekend. To me, being four hours from the beach is wayyyy too much. That's why I decided to investigate.

NYC Time Square to the Beach

New York City to Coney Island
According to Google Maps, from Times Square to Coney Island, it would take you 41 minutes to get to the beach.

West Covina to the Beach

West Covina to the Beach
According to Google Maps, from West Covina to Santa Monica, it would take you 53 minutes to get to the beach.

Looks like NYC is closer to the beach than West Covina by 10 minutes. I wonder why the Crazy Ex Girlfriend cast didn't do their research on this? They keep on saying it is ATLEAST 2 hours from the beach, and four in traffic. I can't imagine it taking four hours to drive the above distance. If you live in Southern California and can shed light on this subject, please let me know in the comments or on my social media as I am interested in why the writers were so wrong about this.

I've heard that Southern California culture is impacted by the beach. They are wayyyy more relaxed and chill compared to New Yorkers. I've heard that East Coast culture is much more busy and cut-throat than West Coast culture so maybe that is why the writers mention the closeness to the beach so much.

But come on Rebecca, you need to relax on the beach after being a high strung New York lawyer? Go to Coney Island, or Staten Island, or even the Jersey Shore! Don't move all the way to West Covina LOL

Anyway, thanks for coming along this (unnecessary) investigative journey!

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Saturday, November 18, 2017

Josh Is Irrelevant: Crazy Ex Girlfriend S3E6 Review

In my previous blog post, I wrote about how I think Rebecca has Borderline Personality Disorder and I was indeed correct! *pats self on the back* AND my article did the same thing the show did - list out the signs of BPD and give examples to how Rebecca met those signs. CXG writers and I - we think similarly!
Source: The CW & itsbriankinney
Josh is officially irrelevant. If you look at the future titles for this season, the pattern of always having Josh's name is now over. Next episode is called, "Getting Over Jeff" which will be a Paula centered episode (and is also the mid season finale and also airs in 3 weeks on Dec 8 boo).

It's always darkest before the dawn. Last episode, I was in tears at Rebecca's suicide attempt and now everything seems so rosy! The song, "A Diagnosis," was cheery and fun and hopeful. And now, I see such a hopeful future for Rebecca. I know there are a lot more episodes of Crazy Ex Girlfriend to come so I know it can't be smooth sailing from here on out but I'm glad Rebecca knows her diagnosis and is taking steps to heal.

I'm glad they made a point to say, "Suicide isn't caused by one person or event; it's because of mental illness." Take that, 13 Reasons Why.

Nathaniel's story really shed a light on his character. He almost had a panic attack whenever he thought about his mom's suicide attempt so we can see he is also affected by mental issues. I also now know WHY Nathaniel likes Rebecca. As they repeat many times during this show and also said during "Maybe She's Not A Heinous Bitch," - "When we're finding a mate, it's our parents we're thinking of." Rebecca reminds Nathaniel of his mom!!

This episode is the first time I have hope that Rebecca and Nathaniel are end game. Nathaniel was so sweet after her suicide attempt. That last scene with him leaving roses at her door was so adorable!! He was finally able to write a heartfelt note to her (after trying so many times to find the right words).  I think maybe Rebecca will learn how to love healthily through her BPD treatment and Nathaniel will also deal with his own issues and in the end, maybe they will end up together!

In conclusion, my main takeaway from this episode was HOPE. I am so excited for a beautiful future for everyone the show.

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Friday, November 17, 2017

How Taylor Swift's "If You're Anything Like Me" reputation Poem Helped Me Heal

To be honest, I am a huge fan of Taylor Swift. Right now, I am going through a Taylor Swift phase because her new album reputation has just been released. On the internet, I came across one of the LOVELY poems Taylor wrote for her Target Magazines and I fell in love with it. I fell so much in love with it that I actually bought the magazine. I wanted to talk about my favorite part of the poem "If You're Anything Like Me"
And no amount of friends at 25
Will fill the empty seats
At the lunch tables of your past
The teams that picked you last...
But Darling, you keep trying.
If you're anything like me,
You couldn't recognize the face of love
Until they stripped you of your shiny paint
Threw your victory flag away
And you saw the ones who wanted you anyway...
Darling, later on you will thank your stars
for that frightful day.
If you're anything like me,
I'm sorry.
But Darling, it's going to be okay.
I haven't talked about it on my blog yet - but I will soon - that I, too, have been betrayed and hurt by my friends. In my About Me, I wrote "I feel bad because why don't I connect with nice, warm people who want to spend time with me?" With this betrayal, I have received my answer. I was wrong when I called them "nice" and "warm." There was a reason why I never connected with them and that reason was that they never really cared about me. Maybe if they did, they would have tried harder to get to know me and connect with me. During my time with them, I always thought it was my fault. I was too lame and weird to connect with them. But now I realize it wasn't my fault. They weren't the right people for me.

Taylor titled the poem, "If You're Anything Like Me." And I want to say- I am very much like her. And not because I "bite my nails" or "laugh when I'm nervous" as written in the first stanza (you can see the full poem here.) I'm sure everyone does those things. I am like Taylor because I am sensitive, because I try too hard, and because I am a little insecure.

"empty seats at lunch tables" can bring up a 10-year old friendship betrayal. And 10 years later, I am still in a similar situation. Last year, I could recognize that I was hanging out with the cool people at work. I remember thinking to myself - huh, do I really belong here? But I didn't push the question further. I said yes to outings that weren't fun for me and made me feel like an outsider. Those people didn't care about me. And when my friends stabbed me so violently in the back - I could finally see it. I could finally break free and make a vow to hang out with only those people who made an effort to care about me.

Maybe when I was hanging out with the <quote>cool people.<unqote>, I had the victory flag in my hands and was doused in the shiny paint. I was like "look, I am not lame like I was in high school! I am normal and I have friends *cue Crazy Ex Girlfriend's song I Have Friends*" But then my friends stabbed me in the back and took that victory flag away. And I was left with my friend count cut in half. But in that moment, I realized this was the real me. I will never be that popular, cool girl. That's when I realized which friends really loved me (saw the face of love). And one year later, maybe I am happy for that frightful day. I wish I had realized these friends were no good for me sooner and without such stabbings, but alas. I think I will recognize it better in the future.

Taylor telling me that she is sorry for the pain I am experiencing really touched me. Even though she doesn't know my struggles, it's nice to know she understands and is also going through something similar. I also like how she tells me that it's going to be okay. There is hope. She and I are both resilience. We will find our place in the world.

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Wednesday, November 15, 2017

Why I Think Crazy Ex Girlfriend's Rebecca Bunch Has Borderline Personality Disorder

As mentioned in the following tweet, it looks like Rebecca Bunch's mental illness will be diagnosed next episode!
It's four days before the episode so I wanted to jot down my thoughts on Rebecca's mental illness. Before I start, I want to say that mental illnesses are linked with each other so many times people can have multiple diagnoses linked to them. I think it's very obvious that Rebecca has Depression and Anxiety. The "not so talked about" mental illness I think she has is Borderline Personality Disorder.

Depression: Rebecca was so drawn to the "Are You Happy?" Butter ad because she was deeply unhappy. When her "quack" psychiatrist in NY gave her such emotion-numbing pills, it made her feel nothing. Depression can make people feel empty, and these pills probably increased her emptiness. Right before Rebecca's suicide attempt, she was severely depressed. She didn't wash her hair/bathe, and didn't care about what was happening in the outside world. A symptom of depression is loosing interest in things that you used to care about. She also slept A LOT which is another symptom of Depression. She felt hopeless because she felt she had severely burned all her bridges and she didn't have anything to look forward to. On the plane, she mentioned that she felt too tired to do ANYTHING; fatigue is also another symptom.

Anxiety: Her anxiety can be seen in the song "We Tapped That Ass," where the ghosts of her too ex-boyfriends haunt her. Anxiety can also be seen manifested in Young Rebecca after she reveals all her secrets to Josh at the church. You can see her walking into her job talking to herself, distracted, and visible anxious.

Borderline Personality Disorder: This is a very interesting disorder. Google defines the disorder as "A mental disorder characterized by unstable moods, behavior, and relationships." I am not great at explaining the mental illnesses so I will just list some symptoms and explain how they relate to our dear Rebecca. These symptoms come from

Fear of Abandonment: Rebecca has a fear of abandonment due to her father and Robert leaving her. It is also based on her mother who wasn't a stable, loving figure. People with BPD desperately do whatever they can to stop the abandonment. For example, Rebecca tried so hard to make her father love her all through her life, She also impulsively believed she was pregnant to convince Josh to stay when she felt him drifting away from her.

Unstable Relationships: states, "People with BPD tend to have relationships that are intense and short-lived. You may fall in love quickly, believing each new person is the one who will make you feel whole, only to be quickly disappointed." Need I say more? This is exactly the premise of the show.

Unclear or unstable self-image: Rebecca does have an unstable self-image and you see that in her songs. One second she is singing about how she is the "Villain in her own story" or a "Stupid Bitch." The next she is singing about how two men are in love with her in "Love Triangle." The reason why she moved all the way to West Covina is because she wanted to change her image as a ruthless, unhappy lawyer to a happy, beach gal.

Impulsive, self-destructive behaviors: states, "If you have BPD, you may engage in harmful, sensation-seeking behaviors, especially when you’re upset." Case in point: Rebecca sleeping with Greg's dad impulsively because she was upset Josh never wanted to see her again. Honestly, I think Rebecca's impulsiveness is one of the most glaring symptom of whatever mental illness she does have. Rebecca impulsively spends money whether its putting 10,000 in a car to win a case or spending 10,000 to move up her wedding. She impulsively kisses (Nathaniel) or sleeps with people (Greg's Dad) even when she knows she should not. She impulsively yells at Josh in front of a church and reveals all her secrets which damages her in the end.

Self-harm: suicide attempt.

Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality: Being out of touch with reality can be seen in how Rebecca does go into a fantasy world and imagines all these musical numbers. In addition, we saw real paranoia and suspicion when her friends did that intervention in S2E5. She accused Nathaniel of scheming with her friends behind her back which is a really huge jump (and also not true!) She also impulsively and quickly assumed that her friends wanted nothing to do with her after learning about her Robert's history. She assumed that her friends and mom were scheming to put her into a mental institution. She assumed that the no longer loved or cared about her.

In conclusion, these are my feelings towards Rebecca's diagnosis. I'm sure whatever Rachel and Aline have researched for Rebecca will be the true diagnosis, but I just want to let you know my thoughts!

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Saturday, November 11, 2017

I Never Want to See Josh Again: Crazy Ex Girlfriend S3E5 Review

That was painful. That was horrendously painful. When Rebecca's mom stole her laptop and showed us, the viewers, Rebecca looking up ways to kill herself, my stomach just dropped. I was in shock. I was filled with anxiety and sadness. Even though that clue was glaring, I still had no idea that Rebecca would attempt suicide. On the plane, even when she was holding the bottle of anxiety pills and looking at it suspiciously, I STILL had no idea she would actually do it. I guess I was just hopeful. This is a fun, musical, quirky show. And yes, it does have serious moments that address mental illness, but I didn't think they would go THAT far.

I'm just so sad. I feel so badly for Rebecca. But we know she survives as evidenced by the promo so at least the is a relief (I guess there is no way she could have died as she is the main character of the show).

The "Help" sign turning into the "Hope" sign was interesting. Because don't they mean the same thing? A person at rock bottom asking for help is a hopeful thing to do. I guess she was only prompted to ask for Help when she realized there was hope for her life to get better.

Photo Credit: The CW &
Why didn't Rebecca even try to talk to her friends? They would have showed her that they still cared. Why didn't Rebecca ask for forgiveness instead of thinking that she ruined her life forever? I mean ask for forgiveness and if they don't forgive you, then you can worry.

Since this episode was rock bottom for her, at least the rest of the season will be moving in a good direction. She will get help for her mental illness and that's great!! The creators on twitter even mentioned that she will be diagnosed next episode.

When it comes to my predictions, I was wrong and right. Rebecca's mom was acting nice to commit her into a mental institution against Rebecca's consent. I was wrong because the real reason why this episode was so emotional was because of the suicide attempt.

When I saw Rachel Bloom's tweet about how emotional this episode will be and for us to prepare, my reaction was BRING IT ON I WANT TO FEEL EMOTIONAL. The suicide attempt, however, was not what I wanted. It wasn't emotional in a good way - the way Rebecca recognizing her feelings and working through them is. I do believe next episode will be emotional in a good way so I'm excited for next week.

Heinous Bitch: Not one of my favorite songs. I probably won't be listening to it again. Why? Because I love my mom and I think she is great! (I suppose I am lucky). I guess I can't relate to it.

About Rebecca's mom, I thought she was sweet. Yeah, drugging someone without their consent IS bad. It feels like you aren't control of your body. AND it's a breech of trust. However, Rebecca's mom did do it with love. She wanted Rebecca to NOT attempt suicide. When Rebecca found out about the pills in the strawberry milkshake, she FREAKED out. She assumed that the only reason she was feeling better and thinking her mom was nice was because of the pills. However, Rebecca's mom was ALSO being nice to her without the pills. They were doing crossword puzzles, playing games, wearing matching outfits. Rebecca's mom did make an effort to be nice. If only she would do that all the time and not just when she thought Rebecca was gonna kill herself.

I Feel Like This Isn't About Me: Corneilia was the foil for Rebecca and also the comedic relief in this episode. I liked her. I liked all the associates of White Feather projecting all their feelings onto her. Maya is totes me as a woke millennial.

It was sweet that we found out exactly why Nathaniel likes Rebecca. He likes her because she challenges his worldview. He likes her because she's not afraid to be different and to put her work second and her happiness first.

I also liked the subplot of Paula and her depression. She does have a loving family!! Her sons were ok with playing a girly board game with her! That's true love! And in the end, it seemed like they both enjoyed the game and were into it. Her husband was also sweet by being there for her when she needed it the most.

Next episode will be emotional. EVERY character in West Covina will have to deal with their emotions surrounding Rebecca. And Rebecca will have to deal with her emotions surrounding her suicide attempt. I can't wait for it!. According to the following tweet, there will even be an emotional song that has NO COMEDIC ELEMENTS. That's a first.

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Friday, November 10, 2017

Predictions for S3 Episode 5 of Crazy Ex Girlfriend One Hour Before Premiere

Just wanted to jot some thoughts I had about the next episode (S3E5: I Never Want to See Josh Again)  of my favorite show Crazy Ex Girlfriend an hour before it premieres.

In the promo, you see Rebecca's mom acting suspiciously nice to her. So nice that even Audra Lavine is questioning it and asking Rebecca to figure out why. When I saw this, I immediately thought the reason why Rebecca's mom is being so nice to her is because she wants to turn Rebecca back into New York Rebecca. Rebecca's mom wants to control her again. She wants her to go back to, as Dr. Akopian stated, "that quack of a psychiatrist" that prescribed her so many emotion numbing pills. She wants her to work hard for her career again and become a rich partner in a law firm.

When I realized this, I immediately thought: Rebecca will figure out what her mom is doing and stop her. She won't let her turn her back into her old self.

But now I am thinking: what if she doesn't?

On twitter, Rachel Bloom tweeted:

This worries me. What if Rebecca Bunch will be put into a mental health facility against her will? Can that even happen? That will make me really sad. As Heather stated, you shouldn't try to find someone who doesn't want to be helped. The creators did say Rebecca will be diagnosed this season. I was just hoping it would be on her terms.

Hopefully, Rachel Bloom is just talking about the emotional manipulation her mom will pull on her. I really hope Rebecca is strong enough to pull through this time.

Sunday, November 5, 2017

Looking For Alaska: John Green Does Have A Thing For The Manic Pixie Dream Girl

Time to review the third and final John Green book I borrowed from the library! Overall, I liked Looking For Alaska. It was not very plot driven which is good for a book! It means the books explores more themes and messages. This is the reason why I don't see it as a good movie (though I think a movie was in the works for this book). Most of this book is Pudge trying to meet new people, make friends, and fit in. Another part of this book is pranks and getting in trouble, and smoking and being a quote-unquote teenager. I liked seeing Pudge make sense of his teenager-world.

At the end of the book, I do think Pudge did find the Great Perhaps. He found friends, adventure, and heartbreak. Everything was not fun and games which is how life is meant to be lived. 

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl: I've read 3 John Green books now: Looking For Alaska, An Abundance of Katherines, and Paper Towns. All three books have one thing in common: a manic pixie dream girl. It's true: John Green does humanize the girl; each one has their own set of flaws. Sometimes, I look at these flaws and I'm just like "ew, why does he like her?" Most of these girls are a bit pretentious and mean to the guy, which is fine, it is necessary. However, all three of these girls are plot devices to help the main character understand the world; which I guess is fine too. But after 3 books, this trope does get boring. 

In both Looking for Alaska and Paper Towns, the main character gets sucked into a mystery about what happened to the girl. In Paper Towns, he tries to find out where she is and if she is alive. In Looking for Alaska, he tries to find out how and why she died. If I had read Looking for Alaska before Paper Towns, I would have thought "no way did Margo die, the girl already died in Looking for Alaska." I am glad Paper Towns had a different ending. It's sad how in both these books, the two girls end up dead or never being able to resolve their flaws and issues. I guess these books weren't their stories, so they end up the same. Maybe one day John Green can write about the flawed Manic Pixie Dream Girl finding solutions for her problems and being able to live in this vastly difficult world.

Rating: 2/5
Completed: October 26, 2017

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Sweet Creature, a lyrical analysis from Harry Styles the album

Sweet Creature, Song Meaning and Lyrical Interpretation

Ahh, Sweet Creature, my least favorite song from Harry's album as mentioned in my Track-By-Track Review. This song sounds the most One Direction out of all of Harry's songs. (Don't get me wrong - I like One Direction! There's just something boring about this song.)
Sweet creature
Had another talk about where it's going wrong
But we're still young
We don't know where we're going
But we know where we belong
Oh, we started
Two hearts in one home
It's hard when we argue
We're both stubborn I know, but oh 
In a lot of Harry's songs, he mentions relationship troubles - like in Meet Me In The Hallway and Two Ghosts. And similar to those songs, Harry has hope that he and his partner belong together and they should figure out a way to resolve their problems.

Sweet Creature is an interesting phrase. "Sweet" makes sense because Harry loves and enjoys spending time with his partner. "Creature" is what makes the phrase odd. It's almost like Harry finds this person foreign and weird. Maybe Harry just cannot understand this person like he wants to. Though Harry's partner may be a mystery to him, he still loves and cherishes her so he wants to keep fighting for the relationship.

"I always think about you and how we don't speak enough." This line is similar to Meet Me In The Hallway's "We don't talk about it/It's something we don't do." This line is also similar to Two Ghosts' "Cause we don't say what we really mean." Harry and his lover have major communication problems that they need to address. "We're both stubborn I know." He thinks maybe their youth inhibits their ability to be mature adults and talk it out.

Still, Harry thinks they belong together as evidenced by them being "Two hearts in one home," and how his partner "brings him home" when he's run out of road. This song sounds gentle and sweet in nature because that is how Harry feels about this person.

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Saturday, November 4, 2017

Josh's Ex-Girlfriend Is Crazy: Crazy Ex Girlfriend S3E4 Review


This TV show is so good that after every episode I'm reeling, spinning - flooded with emotions I cannot comprehend. I hope this show does not slow down - I hope it continues making such high caliber TV that every episode I am shook.

Rebecca Intentionally Hurts All Her Friends: Those first few minutes of this episode were scary.  When Rebecca took down each and every one of her friends with such harsh words. I was clutching my pillow even though the horror movie part of the show hadn't stared! WOW. Rebecca still cannot believe that her friends love her. That's why she pushes them away when they try to show her love and caring. I thought Rebecca was pretty correct about Paula, Heather, and Darryl. Rebecca was VERY wrong about Valencia when she said Valencia threw her dream wedding for her just because no one will love her. Valencia was doing Rebecca a huge favor by planning her wedding and then Rebecca uses it against her.

Rebecca is correct that White Josh doesn't want to have a baby with Darryl. Rebecca is also correct that Paula is also, in her own way, a little crazy and that she neglects her family. But then again, to bring up some The Awakening Kate Chopin vibes, Paula does want a life outside of just being a mother and she should be able to have that. I guess she just needs to find a balance. AND STOP PUTTING TRACKING DEVICES IN HER FRIENDS. LMAO.

Crazy Ex Girlfriend The End of the Movie

Swimchan: I have never watched the movie that Rebecca was trying to replicate (Swimfan). I have only watched one horror movie in my life and I wasn't scared watching it. But I've got to say, I was ACTUALLY scared when Rebecca was trying to scare Josh. Joseph Kahn is very good at what he does and I'm glad he was able to make this episode so horror movie-like with his directing skills. Josh Chan was a great victim, and Rebecca a great villain. I was clutching my pillow the whole time.

That scene near the construction pit was expertly done. Josh Chan is correct in saying he never wants to see Rebecca again. Pretending to kidnap his mom is too far. But you can also see Rebecca's side; Josh never gave her an explanation. He just abandoned her. And now, Josh will probably never give Rebecca and explanation.

Heather and Hector: I am so here for this! THEY LOOK SO CUTE TOGETHER. I hope they make a good couple and I hope Heather doesn't just use him to run away from her problems. I don't think she will though. She mentioned she will work hard to figure out her life after community college.

Rebecca Sleeping With Greg's Dad: RIDICULOUS. Absolutely NUTS. Also, let's not just yell at Rebecca. Let's also yell at Greg's dad. WHY WOULD YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SON'S EX GIRLFRIEND. wrong-o. Like he said, everyone's a little crazy. I could write an essay about this, but what I will say is: the writers did this so all hopes of the Rebecca/Greg will be dashed. Rebecca is not right for Greg. She will only ruin him. It truly was a shit show.

The End of The Movie feat. Josh Groban: I could also write an essay about this. I probably will write a blog post just about this one song. This song touched me. I could really relate to it as well because I am also always trying to make sense of my life. But LIFE DOESN'T MAKE NARRATIVE SENSE. I will probably be repeating that to myself for a couple of weeks after this episode. If I do write that blog post about this song, I will post a link here.

Favorite Line:

Crazy Ex Girlfriend Josh is more a symbol of effortless normalcy from which you always felt excluded.

"Josh is more a symbol of effortless normalcy from which you always felt excluded." - a great thesis statement for the show. A great deconstruction of WHY Rebecca Bunch loves Josh Chan.

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